


The Thirty-ninth Sentinel Tidbits File by Many and Varied

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Series: The Senad Sentinel Tidbits Files by Many and Varied [39]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Senslash Fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:34:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist





	The Thirty-ninth Sentinel Tidbits File by Many and Varied

## The Thirty-ninth Sentinel Tidbits File

by Many and Varied

Author's disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, these tidbits aren't mine.  
Honestly, I'm not responsible for any of it!  


* * *

Rating: the whole range  
Pairings: J/B (mostly!) 

* * *

Tidbit #1 

ObSenad: 

Blair's groan of pure frustration summoned Jim from his comfortable spot on the couch watching a game in five seconds flat. 

"What's wrong, Chief?" 

Blair looked up, his blues eyes deep with concern. "She's gone completely off the deep end this time." 

"Who, baby?" Jim circumspectly tried to look at what was on the screen. It was an e-mail about some new list. He didn't recognize the name of the sender but the subject looked vaguely familiar. 

Blair shook his head. "Friend of mine, sort of. We're on some lists together and she's a part-time student." 

"And?" 

"She's lost her mind." Blair glared at his laptop's screen, trying to ignore Jim's less than subtle attempts to untuck his shirt. "She's created _another_ list." 

"So?" Jim murmured, intent on only distracting his Guide until the worst of his initial reaction was over. 

Blair almost growled as he batted Jim hands away. "So I know she's over worked as it is and now she's started a new project. The fifth one that I _know_ of this month." 

"Sounds like you." 

"What!" 

"Every time you get overwhelmed you start something new and you haven't self-destructed yet." Jim zeroed in on the one spot on the back of Blair's neck that could end all discussions. "She'll be fine." 

"Ohhh. J ..Jim. Cut i... Ohh, never mind." Blair shivered and made a final attempt at coherent thought. "Bed." 

"Of course." Jim couldn't help grinning as he guided his Guide upstairs. 

\--end-- 

Rauhnee 

* * *

Tidbit #2 

The curse of Dr. Valenstein  
by Stacy LA Stronach, Oct. 98 

Inside Castle Valenstein 

Mindless of the storm outside, Dr. Valenstein laughed madly as he put the finishing touches on his latest creation. "Igom, bring me the 'highly stupid premise' adjuster, this has to be stupider, in order to be perfect. Must have high offensiveness too, just so it will get low ratings..." the evil doctor trailed off into fits of evil laughter. 

"Yes, master, here," Valenstein's hunchbacked assistant handed him the tool he'd asked for. "I'm sure it will be a masterpiece," Igom said in his raspy voice. Igom tilted his head, he was sure he could hear noise coming from outside. Quickly shuffling over to the window he looked out, and saw, coming up the road from the village, a group of people. A rather large group of people. Carrying torches and signs, which he couldn't read from here. 

"Master, master--" 

"Don't interrupt me when I'm creating something brilliant, Igom, you idiot!" Doctor Valenstein hissed at his assistant. He cackled as yet another piece of his new TV program came into place. "Ah, yes, we're getting close to perfection, I can feel it, Igom, I can feel it!!" he yelled. 

Igom glanced out the window again, nervous as the torch-bearing people made their way closer. He could read some of the signs, "Down with Valenstein and the Useless Pricks Network" "Cancel  this Valenstein!!" and many others. "But, master, the viewers--" 

"What about the viewers?" Valenstein sighed. 

"Well, they're revolting and--" 

"Yes, yes, I know they're revolting but what's your point?" the evil doctor asked, his patience wearing thin. 

"No, sir you don't understand, they're headed up the hill, ready to storm our network castle. Oh, there are the Sentinel fans coming from the west and the people upset with Desmond Pfeiffer coming from the north. What are you going to do?" Igom asked, alarm in his voice as he heard the doors below being forced open and the yelling and shouting of the angry mobs. 

"Ha, ha, ha, I'll ignore them like I usually do, they'll go away. Now shut up, you little worm, I've almost got this one up and running. Just a little bit of electricity..." Dr. Valenstein said. 

"Don't even think about touching that switch, Valenstein!!" an angry female voice warned, startling the mad doctor. 

The doctor turned around and his face went white as a sheet as he looked at the angry people filling his lab, and he could see they were crowded into the hallway as well. "What do you want? Please, don't destroy my work, please," he groveled. 

The woman spoke again. "We want the Sentinel back on the air and we want you to let Blair and Jim hug, at the least. And we want you to promise to stop creating such horribly offensive shows like Desmond Pfeiffer. We want you to quit. And if you don't do as we ask, and leave this castle, we will be forced to come back and cancel YOU!!" 

Dr. Valenstein was terrified, never had he managed to piss off so many people at one time and they really did look ready to tear him to pieces if he refused. "All right, all right, I'll do as you ask, just please don't hurt me," he whined. 

"All right--then get the hell out of here and take your assistant with you," the woman said, and a path cleared to allow the evil one to pass. As he reached the door, he heard a crashing sound, and knew that even as he left, they were destroying his precious new shows. He also knew there was nothing he could do to save them, that if he turned around, the crowd would tear him to shreds. 

Once outside, Igom looked up at Dr. Valenstein. "What do we do now master, now that the viewers have taken over our castle?" 

The doctor paused, obviously thinking. "Well, you know, Igom, I here that the WB is looking for a new president. What do you think?" 

\--the end-- 

[I apologise for the revolting pun, I couldn't help it.] 

Happy Halloween/Samhain!!!!!!!! 

Stacy 

* * *

Tidbit #3 

ObSenad: 

"Wasn't that ... just great, chief?" 

"Yeah, Jim. John Glenn is a true American hero." 

"Imagine accomplishing something like this 36 years after the first time he was launched into space." 

"So, Jim. You were alive for the first Mercury shot, huh?" 

"Well, yeah, but I was really little." 

"I wasn't born yet. And how about the other shots? Gemini? Apollo?" 

"I was still a kid, Sandburg!" 

"And what about ..." 

"What's your point, Sandburg?" 

"God, you're old." 

"Old?! Come here, you imp, I'll show you old!" 

Kiss. 

Kiss. 

Kiss. 

K -I-S-S. 

"So, what do you have to say for yourself now, squirt?" 

Unzip. 

Unzip. 

"I say 'Thrusters on full. Get ready to eject your payload, big guy!" 

-end- 

Deana 

* * *

Tidbit #4 

ObSenad: 

"Blair!" The voice of Jim Ellison, ex-Army Ranger, detective and Sentinel of the Great City (Cascade, Washington-- the most dangerous city in America.) came from behind the closed bathroom door. 

"What now?" The muffled tones of Blair Sandburg, doctoral candidate, police observer, Shaman of the Great City (Cascade, seven kinds of rain, 42 ways to order coffee) came from the french-doored alcove. 

"Where is the rest of my costume?" 

"The accessories are in the bag." The noise of clothes being pulled off and put on. More quietly than before, "Sheesh, it's a Halloween party, not a surveillance operation." 

"I heard that." Jim came out of the bathroom, in leather. An approximation of leather anyway. "This is not a centurion costume." The skirt was similar, but the bodice armor was more... 

"Xena. Go on, put the wig on." Some more noises from the room. "And put your boobs in." 

Jim disgruntledly obeyed. The wig was easy, as he didn't have much of his own to hide. The filler on the other hand had to be adjusted repeatedly. 

"Very ladylike. Perfect." Blair was standing by his bedroom door, just closing it, wearing a cowled robe. 

"Let me guess, you're Gabrielle. What, no midriff?" 

Blair thought about mentioning he could have gotten a Callisto outfit in extra large. 'Save that one for next year, just in case.' "No, Iolus. This way, if I'm cold, strike that, when I'm cold, I'm still in costume." 

Jim pulled back the hood, about to smart ass about Blair making a very furry sidekick when he swallowed funny at the blond locks. 

* * *

Blondes don't have more fun; they just come back from the dead quicker. 

Cynara 

* * *

Tidbit #5 

ObSenad: 

Ring. 

Ring. 

"Major Crimes, Ellison." 

"Jim, did you vote today?" 

"Not yet, Sandburg." 

"Not yet? What are you waiting for?!!! The polls are going to close in a little under two hours." 

"I'm just finishing up some paperwork. And then I'll get to it." 

"Promise?" 

"What do I get if I vote?" 

"You mean aside from the good feeling that comes from participating in our democratic form of government?" 

"Yeah, what else?" 

"Let's just say that there'll be no abstentions on the home front tonight." 

"I'm heading out of the bull pen now!" 

* * *

**VOTE, PEOPLE!**

Deana 

* * *

Tidbit #6 

Perspective 

Blair sat on the couch, laptop on knees, the evening news droning in the background as he muttered to himself and read the posts on his favorite e-mail list. 

"What's the matter, Chief?" Jim asked, coming to lean over Blair's shoulder. 

"Oh nothing really, just everyone on my list is in an uproar over a convention some of them went to last week. And I have to admit, some of the comments I'm hearing really have my bristles up as well." 

"Hey, baby. None of us are perfect. Cut everyone some slack and let it go, as you mom would say." Jim offered with a dismissive wave of his hand. 

Blair glanced up with an impatient glare. "You didn't spend lots of money and rearrange your schedule just for this convention either, Jim. Then have the con-com act like nothing was their fault." 

Jim tapped Blair on top of the head then bent to kiss that upturned face. "Neither did you, Sandburg. Give it a rest before your blood pressure goes sky high." 

Suddenly, the television's volume seemed to rise and Jim grimaced and reached for the remote, but Blair's hand caught his as images of Hurricane Mitch and the horrors of mudslides and floods in Central America caught their undivided attention. 

"My god, Jim. Oh my god. I've been there. I've been to that place, a village. It's not there anymore. Those poor people. And they're saying over seven thousand people have been killed. Oh my god." 

Jim's hand came to rest on Blair's bent head, rubbing soothingly and Blair knew Jim could feel his sudden wash of tears, feel the subtle shake of his body, of his shame for being so upset about something that seemed so petty and unimportant now when compared to such devastation as this. 

"Blair...baby, don't," Jim said. "We all do that, forget how lucky we are to be where we are, to be alive, to have a nice warm safe place to go home to." 

"It just...makes me feel sad and...and helpless sometimes." 

"Yeah. I worked one of these kinds of things back in my army days. Tragedy at every turn. Horror and pain. Helpless is about right, even when you're there to do exactly that...help." Jim moved to sit next to Blair, pulling the younger man into his arms, the laptop forgotten now. "Go back on-line and say something positive, sweetheart. Try to put things back in perspective for everyone on your list. You can do that, can't you?" 

Blair nodded and brightened. "I can do that." 

\--the end-- 

Jayd 

* * *

Tidbit #7 

ObSenad: 

**"OH MY GOD!"**

Jim came hurtling down the stairs. 

"What is it babe....what's wrong?" 

"They kissed! Lou Diamond Phillips kissed him!" Blair practically shouted at his lover. 

Jim looked puzzled, but Blair was off and Jim settled in to figure it all out as he went. 

"They kissed....Carter and this guy kissed...very very hot. Then at the end of the show, he picks Carter up and carries him out, Carter grabs his hat....did I mention the dress whites, babe... and puts it on his head!! To top it all off, they titled the episode "Officer and a Gentleman!" Man, I still can't believe it!" Blair eventually winds down. 

Jim stills looks puzzled. 

"You have a thing for uniforms, Chief?" He drawls. 

Blair hesitates and looks at his lover intently before heading towards the stairs with a deliberate tread. 

"Maybe.....care to come and find out?" 

A growl is all the answer he gets. 

finis? 

Pathos 

* * *

Tidbit #8 

Re: continuation of the above ObSenad... 

* * *

Jim ran up the stairs, only to find Blair rooting through a box he'd pulled from under the bed. "You're not... are you?" 

"It is in here, isn't it?" 

"Yes, it's in there," Jim conceded, smiling reluctantly. 

The phone rang, and the two men looked at each other, simultaneously saying: 

"Look, why don't you find it while I...." 

"Just get rid of 'em, Chief!" 

Blair grabbed the phone, and then shouted, "YES! Did you see them?! Was that  cool or what? I know, and... yes! And then.... You're KIDding! A semi-regular part? All right!! They've got a web site, right? Well, at the least, abc.com, right? I'm definitely going to let them know how COOL this is! Hey, Jim...." 

Jim saluted, and tried his best not to laugh as Blair stood, frozen, the voice from the phone beginning to echo. "Blair? Hey, Blair? Are you there?" 

"Gotta go," Blair mumbled in the direction of the phone as he set it down, then found himself moving closer, and closer. "Private Sandburg, reporting for duty, SIR!" 

\--end-- 

Ann 

* * *

Tidbit #9 

ObSenad: 

"She never thinks about us any more," Blair pouted. 

"Yes, she does, Chief," Jim soothed. 

"She doesn't love us any more," Blair said. "She has Jeff now." 

"There, there," Jim said, kissing the head of curls he loved. "They've only been together for a couple of months." He chuckled. "Actually, after being with him, she wrote the hottest PWP she's ever written. She just has to type it in." 

"Really?" Blair perked up. 

Jim nodded. "Plenty of claiming mates and lots of primal sex," he said, kissing his love's neck. 

Blair shivered. "I like primal sex," he managed to say. "Does he know about us?" 

"Not specifically but she told him what she writes. He chuckled but he didn't laugh at her." 

"Must be true love." 

"Must be," Jim murmured. He pressed his growing erection into Blair's thigh. "Why don't we go upstairs and see if we can get started on that primal sex?" 

Jim had never seen his lover move so fast as he grabbed Jim's hand and headed for the stairs. 

\--the end-- 

Kathi C  
(Yes, it is true love and he's very supportive...) 

* * *

Tidbit #10 

ObSenad: 

Jim looked along the street. He studied the houses. A small hotel caught his eyes. They crossed the street. Blair peered uncomfortable into the dark, smelly entrance of the building. A cheap, sparsely dressed woman sat in a ugly lobby, smoking. 

"Um, Jim I think this a hotel where you rent the rooms by the hour." 

Jim grinned and shoved his friend forward. The old woman with the thick layer of make up and red dyed hair eyed them warily. 

"So what girl do you want?" 

"No girl." Jim nodded at Blair. "I have my company already." 

"I don't know him." She munched her cigar and pointed at Blair. 

"He is new in town. Works for Tuffy, I think." Jim lied easy. 

"Okay. Room 214. Money in cash, now." She took a long swig from her beer. 

Jim grabbed the key and threw some bills at the stained desk. They ascended the narrow stairway. 

"Why do I always have to be the slut, man? Why not you for a change?" Blair asked annoyed. 

"Blair, do you really think people would believe that a cute, young guy like you would pay to sleep with me?" 

"I would," Blair mumbled frustrated. 

Jim turned suddenly and towered over his friend, "You would WHAT?" 

"Nothing!" Blair pushed him hard. "Go on." 

When Jim opened the door he asked: "How much? How much would you pay for me?" 

"Man, I so do not know the fees for the male delivering service." 

"Hm, a young stud like you could make 150 to 200, if you are good." 

Blair sat down on the bed. "I think I have the wrong profession." 

Jim laughed. "But it is a very dangerous profession." 

"My job now is dangerous too and I don't get any money." 

Jim closed the blinds and peered down the street. 

"Why do you want to know?" Blair was curious now. 

"When I'm broke one day, I'll know were to raise money." 

"But I'm broke half the time!" Blair complained. 

"Now. But eventually you would finish your diss and become a real professor with a good salary." 

Blair laughed. "I see! So, what do we now?" 

"You? Nothing. We'll wait for the guy who is going to meet them." 

Blair flopped himself on the bed, while Jim observed the house on the other side of the street. Jim mused how much of what Blair had said was a joke. 

Blair thought sorrowfully that this anal cop would never be broke. He was much too careful with his money. Blair decided he'd bring this up again on another occasion. 

\--the end-- 

Angelika 

* * *

Tidbit #11 

ObSenad: 

Jim stiffened in his patented "I'm hearing something you can't hear" mode, as soon as they entered their building. Blair put on his patented "Tell me what you are hearing already!" look, his eyebrows arched. 

"Sounds like our neighbor Joyce. She seems upset, but I don't think she's in any real danger." Blair patted Jim on the shoulder as they made their way to their door, proud of Jim's ability to hang up his super-hero cape on occasion. Or to lend it to Blair now and again. 

"Jim, I think I'm gonna just knock on her door, make sure she's okay." 

"Fine with me, boss, but don't be surprised if she spends the night crying on your shoulder about Eddie." Jim entered the loft, leaving the door open to watch the drama unfold across the hall. He had heard and smelled enough from the young lady's apartment to know exactly with whom she was so upset. 

Blair knocked on the door, wondering how he had missed seeing this "Eddie" character Joyce was now dating. A flustered Joyce opened the door, her arm entangled in a dog leash, at the end of which was a very young, very large, rambunctious Husky. Before Blair could speak, the dog had jumped up, covered his face in dog drool and started wildly humping his leg. There was barely muffled laughter from the direction of his own apartment, but Blair was too busy defending his honor to hear it. 

"Eddie!! Bad dog! Get DOWN! Oh God Blair...I'm so *sorry.*" Poor Joyce was red with embarrassment, and chose that moment to yank back on the leash to drag the dog off Blair. Unfortunately, Eddie had already wrapped his front legs around Blair's knees and Blair landed on his ass with a whump. 

Jim laughed silently in the doorway, wondering if he was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Tears clouded his vision, but he could still hear Joyce apologizing and dragging Eddie off of Blair. Suddenly he heard a low growl, and cast about for his spirit guide out of habit. After a few seconds, he realized it was coming from Blair. 

Jim heard Blair speak firmly to the dog, who was paying more attention to Blair's face now. The Guide was speaking English, but his tone of voice was low and sharp, mimicking a snarling canine. Jim wiped his eyes and watched in amazement as Blair turned the dog around and practically sat on Eddie's rump, all the while speaking in a firm tone. Something about Blair's posture sent a thrill of pleasure through Jim, and he realized Blair was mock-mounting the large dog! Joyce had fallen silent and was staring at Blair, who gave the dog a few more words, then rose to his full height. Eddie turned towards him, his body low, tail between his legs, but wagging. Blair reached down and let the dog lick his hand. 

"Uhm...Blair?" asked a suitably stunned Joyce. 

Blair smiled reassuringly at her and waved dismissively. "Oh, it's just something I learned from a dog breeder I knew. You have to speak their language, you know? I mean, after all, we are the ones with the bigger brains, right? Yet we always expect them to learn our words. Striking an animal is never the answer. In canine society, mounting is a sign of dominance. If you want to have the dog respect you, you have to let him know who's boss. I just reprimanded him for his behavior and made him understand I am above him in ranking within the pack. It's really quite interesting you know...." 

Just then Jim came across the hall and steered his yakky Guide towards their apartment, throwing a brief apology over his shoulder at Joyce who was silent, shaking her head in agreement. Frankly, Jim didn't care if Eddie attacked every passerby in the hallway, he had this sudden urge to have his Guide's attention focused on him. He shut the door firmly behind them and held Blair by the shoulders. 

"Blair...what the heck was all that?" 

"I was in the middle of explaining it to her, it's a technique you can use that's way more effective than hitting a dog or wasting your breath screaming at them." 

"Maybe, but it looks...well..." 

Blair grabbed the newspaper off the table, rolled it up and started swatting Jim on the head with it. "Hey, if you were a dog, would you rather endure this or be mounted for a few seconds?" 

It was hard for Jim to answer because all the water seemed to have fled from his mouth. Images of Blair squatting possessively behind him flooded his mind as he fended off the newspaper swats. 

"Okay, okay. Yeah, maybe mounting is better." 

"Hmm.....I'll have to remember that next time you annoy me, Jim." Blair took off for his bedroom with an eyebrow waggle that had the Sentinel thinking up clever ways to bug his Guide. 

finis 

Wolfine 

* * *

End Sentinel Tidbits File #39.

 


End file.
